Miracle Moments

This post is precious to me since it's almost a year of my writer's block that I am back to my writing again. It feels liberating and soulful to me. Motherhood for past 1.5 years has been hectic, tiring, joyful, healing and fun! Nothing in all these years of my life has kept me this busy nor as grounded. Life feels like I have taken 2 steps back and 4 steps forward all in a skip of a beat. I am sure every motherhood has it shares of challenges and to each his/her own.
After my Caeserean in Feb 2014, after I returned home from the hospital I was clueless. I felt I have dived deep into the ocean with waves till my neck. I didn't even know how to breastfeed. It was too much of a struggle for both the baby and me. And then we both learnt how to get it right. We bonded so much better. We communicated with such less words and yet we knew how we felt. It is a connection of divinity. Even to this day I intuitively know what he needs. That's the power of nature I suppose. We women were created to experience this. Nothing in life can match the love you can feel when you hold your baby. It is a flow of energy in each of veins. You just know you are alive only to protect and nurture your little one. The little hands and legs curled up against your body makes you feel like a protective lioness. I promised my son deep in my heart that I will protect him from all the vices of this world.
My son turned colic in the first few weeks of his birth. He would scream all through the nights for months together. The only thing that would soothe him was my feeding. I learnt during those trying times that perserverance pays off. I prayed to every God I knew to relieve my son of the pain. I wept with him with his pain and my own. We shared our sorrows. But we bonded so much more too. The joy I get even today when he jumps in joy to be with me over everyone else is unmatched.
It also came at a price. I had no "me-time". My life revolved around caring for my little one. Endless feeding, caring, cleaning et al. This happened round the clock. And add to it the colic part of it and lots of sleepless nights and days. It felt frustrating many a times. Many days I would have cried to get a break. To just run away some place alone. To just get my time back. But through it at all, I stuck it through.
Unfortunately few months after my C-Section, I was diagnosed of a epidermal cyst. I had to be operated again and I developed hematoma post that. It was my most difficult time of life. With a breastfeeding baby and improper rest for myself, my problems extended to more than a month. I struggled and struggled. But I never gave up. The nurturer in me stood stronger. My only goal was my baby and nothing else. Nothing mattered to me. No pain, no sleeplessness mattered. I just wanted his happiness and health. To my heart, my pain was nothing compared to my baby's. He is my life and nothing less.
As he grew older, the crunch of time became more. I had to resume work and the struggle grew multifold. I persevered. I could have quit my job if I wanted to. I never did. I have always felt your abilities are always limited to your own thinking. If your mind thinks it possible, it sure is. Each day was a new journey. I tried very hard and still do make each day purposeful.
Now my son is 1 year 4 months. I now very consciously make time for myself. For my own sanity. I have realized it the hard way to let go. Sometimes as a mother, I become overprotective and controlling of the care others give him. I know this is a weakness of mine. But my heart just does not accept anything less than the best for my dearest. I am learning to let go and let it be. The struggles still continue. But life feels less frustrating since I have made peace with my inner self. I now consider "my time" important too.  I consciously make time to read. In that regard getting my writing skills back too was very important to my soul. I am an instinctive writer. I just feel the urge and I bring pen to paper. The mind can be creative only when relaxed. I have consciously taken it upon myself to invest time in myself and my relationships. The stress of motherhood took a toll on all my relationships. I deeply apologize to all around me whom I may have hurt. But I am proud of these relationships too since these are the people who still stand by me no matter what. That's the strength of a relationship. When I look back at the year that has been, I feel grateful to God for all the good things I have. I feel very thankful and humbled. I am alive for my son. And his smile can heal away any struggle of mine. Life is a collection of such miracle moments. Each moment I have is a moment of miracle I have with God himself. Why do I need to pray to God when I can serve him each second of my life. The spiritual self of mine relates to the God in my arms than the God in temple.
After my experience, I vowed to make the struggle little less for all other mothers around me. On that note, I have now taken up the CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator Course too. I am in process of completion. I hope to make the feeding experience little more enjoyable for new mothers.

At the end of it, Cheers to Motherhood!!

Soulful Second Trimester!!

Now that you have finally crossed the first trimester, it calls for some treat!! Goodbye to the nausea, drowsiness, puking and hopefully constipation too! Though most of these symptoms recede slowly and may last until about 3.5~4 months. But definitely you will start feeling better each day. For me though getting back my appetite and not worrying if I will puke again was in itself a big hurdle crossed!! I am sure many of you will resonate my thoughts.

Coming to the best part yet! I am sure you have started to SHOW! The small little bump is finally there!! Wow I still remembering touching and feeling my abdomen every now and then wondering what my baby looks like. And checking myself in the mirror to see how much bigger my belly has grown. And a sure answer to this are the number of dresses you need to discard as your baby starts to grow! :) Don't worry you will definitely get a chance to lose that weight and fit back into all of it. 

A thing to remember is as you start your 2nd trimester, you need to start sleeping only on your sides and not on your back or tummy. Maybe uneasy for some of you but is really important as this blocks off the blood supply to your baby if you sleep on your back. To ease some of the discomfort try keeping a pillow between your knees when you sleep. This will help ease some of the back pain you will experience as your baby grows.

Now is about time when you would have disclosed the news to most people. If you are working it's an ideal time to break the news to help your team plan accordingly. And yes yet again expect a lot of pampering and catering to your cravings. I did not have much cravings though. The only thing i craved a lot for is Pav Bhaji from a near by restaurant. Gosh! it was yummm!! I still crave for it though. But sadly no one pays much attention to it now ;)

Apparently cravings are a way for your body telling you what nutrients it needs. Say if you crave for oranges maybe you need more Vit C supplements. Nevertheless it's a good excuse to have your cravings catered to :D But be watchful of what you crave. If you crave for anything harmful be sure to mention it to your doc!

Now for the best part of the 2nd trimester. The first KICKS!! I had my first flutter like movement in my fourth month. I was lying on my side in the early morning when i felt a worm like thing run inside my belly! I woke up in a jolt with a smiling face. It was an amazing feeling. 

During the entire course of pregnancy both my husband and me ensured we always consciously had conversations with our baby. Everyday we spent time together talking to my belly. As time progressed my sonny started responding to our conversations by kicking me. He used to get stimulated by certain songs and voices - my husband's for instance. When my son was born, he recognized my husband's and my voice on the day of his birth! I strongly recommend this to all pregnant couples out there. It creates a unique bond between the three of you and is a very blissful feeling. 

2nd Trimester is also the time when you start your stretch marks. You may find in-numerous creams and lotions to avoid it. For me though none of them made any significant difference. I am yet to see how they vanish with more time. But definitely try applying something moisturizing over your belly. Your skin maybe itchy when it's breaking. Try not to scratch. It it's unbearable and it's turned into a rash, apply lacto calamine lotion(available in all pharmacies, not the cosmetic one). Nevertheless apply some cream everyday lightly massaging your belly in clockwise motion. It helps in bonding with your baby and you too will enjoy the massage.

This is about time when most of your pre-pregnancy dresses stops fitting you. Sigh!! I know I know..how bad that feels!! You suddenly feel your entire wardrobe is snatched away from you! But the good part is you can buy some new clothes :) Try not to buy too many of them and most importantly buy something a size or two bigger so you may fit in as your belly grows. And I suggest that you don't spend a lot in buying these clothes since you may not fit into them after maybe a year or so. Also be careful when buying these clothes they do not have any thick elastics which may fit tightly on your abdomen or pelvis. This can hinder the movement of the baby. Also be watchful of your panties for the same. Try to look out for ones which don't have thick or tight elastic preferably like a seamless one. This will keep you comfortable and also your baby.

As time goes by you will start to notice a lot of those kicks and somersaults. A few of them can really take the wind out of you especially if you are stuck in a position where you cant move much - maybe like in a car. If your baby's position is really uncomfortable try walking or moving, your baby will realize and change position. This is also the time when the ultrasounds get very exciting. You start to see your baby develop each month and see its movements live! I strongly recommend 3D and 4D imaging for your record. It's priceless to watch your baby emoting and moving inside. In one of the videos of my son, he was trying to walk inside my womb! More like MJ's moonwalk. LOL. These are precious collections which you will treasure as time goes by. A recommended time for this is around 5~6 months. Beyond 7 months, the imaging gets difficult as the baby grows.

Welcome to the very exciting second trimester!

Tackling anemia in pregnancy!!

Anemia is one of the most common ailments in women. Especially considering the lack of attention paid to diet by today's young ladies this can be a very critical factor in pregnancy. During pregnancy you can imagine our bodies as massive machines running non-stop in building a home for your baby and nurturing your baby. Since most of this happens without you noticing the only side effect you feel is the massive tiredness. As your body is grinding out the energy from you, the new life inside you requires more of your blood as it grows. No wonder you turn anemic!! If left unchecked can cause serious harm to your baby. Some signs to know if you are anemic:

• A blood test will surely tell you a confirmed answer!
• Check if your finger nails and palm looks pale. A healthy body will have a nice pink color in the nails and palms.
• Excessive hair fall.
• Extreme tiredness and uninterested in any activity.

If you have any of the above symptoms be sure to consult your doctor for any supplements of iron. In addition to that you will need to supplement your diet to boost your hemoglobin. Here are a few tricks to help you do that.

• Eat iron rich foods like green leafy vegetables - preferably raw, brinjal or Eggplant, Ragi or finger millets, dates, figs are all rich in iron.
• Consuming dates syrup with milk is also very beneficial.
• Eating Vitamin C rich foods like Oranges help in absorption of iron better.
• Try to introduce yourself to homemade multi-grain drinks containing Ragi, Jowar among other sprouts. These help in developing core strength as well as improving your hemoglobin. Ragi is a rich source of Iron, Calcium and Fiber, all of which are needed in plenty during pregnancy.
• In some cases Iron supplements can cause constipation. In such cases introduce a lot of fiber in your diet.

Treating anemia must be done very diligently and regularly. Pregnancy or otherwise keeping anemia in check is advisable. Anemia brings down the overall immunity of the body and can be a reason for most of your other trivial infections and diseases. You will need to doubly ensure you are not anemic if you are carrying more than one baby.
So here's to a healthy non-anemic pregnancy and life!! Cheers!!

Handling First Trimester

As I went through my pregnancy I received help from a lot of sources - internet, friends, siblings, elders in my family and even just random people! I have tried to collate all of it here so it helps you maintain a healthy diet and also hopefully soothe some of your nausea! 

• To treat nausea and excessive puking, try eating watermelons. Consider them your guardian angel. Watermelons rich in Vitamin C help remove any gaseous feeling in your abdomen and also help in absorption of Iron in your body.
• There is an accupressure point just below your wrist on the bottom side which when applied pressure relieves some of the nausea.
• Keep yourself hydrated especially when you are vomiting excessively. If plain water nauseates you further, try flavored water like lime juice, glucose or anything else you personally prefer. Even tender coconut is a good choice but a dangerous one. Excessive consumption of tender coconut can put you at risk for diabetes. A recommended consumption is 2 per week.
• A walk in fresh air despite your tiredness actually makes you feel better.
• If you face early morning nausea especially when you brush you teeth, try this. Eat some dry biscuits or crackers as soon as you are up before you brush. It helps soothe some of that uneasiness.
• Eat walnuts and apricots especially in your first trimester as these are rich in folic acid and will aid growth of the brain of the fetus.
• Also don't worry if you cannot eat much or cannot keep much food within. The fetus does not need much nutrition yet and can sustain by itself without your food. So take is slow and eat whatever you can stomach.
• Avoid eating apples if you get too constipated as this can increase it and may even lead to fissures. If you really wish to eat them, add a lot of fiber in your diet eating fruits like banana, pomegranate etc and eating veggies like green leafy vegetables, radish etc. Radish when had raw with curd and salt is considered a safe stool softener.
• Sadly there's no cure for the tiredness you feel. Your body is a machine working non-stop in building a home for your baby. So you will definitely feel tired. Easier said than done, try to take rest as much as you can and wherever you can. Don't feel hesitant to speak about it. It's not laziness and it's actually your body asking you to rest so it can continue building that home. So ask for help from anyone and everyone!
• Though there are a lot of myths regarding what foods to take and to avoid. I will personally say anything that you are doubtful about, better avoid it. Pregnancy will not last all your life and you will get lot more chances to eat them later! Some things to consider avoiding - papaya (an unripe one can apparently carry an enzyme which can cause miscarriages), bitter gourd (karela), mangoes (a few slices may not harm though).
• Try to keep your diet filled with nuts, dry fruits, fresh salad, fruits, milk and curd. It's said that if you have a diet consisting common allergens like nuts, milk etc in your pregnancy, chances are your baby will be less allergic to it when outside.
• Avoid staying hungry for longer periods as this adds to your nausea. Try to munch on something every 2 hours once. Something light and healthy like biscuits, nuts, fruits.
• Avoid foods containing Maida or plain flour such as buns and breads made from them. Instead try to choose a whole wheat alternative of that. Maida is known to cause constipation which I am sure you don't want to add to your list of problems!
• If you wish to eat out, try safer options which likely wont cause you any infections. 
• Avoid overly spicy food. You sure don't want your entire food pipe and nasal tract burning after you puke!
• Most importantly completely eliminate caffeine from your diet. It will be difficult in the beginning but you will get used to it. Try taking a walk whenever you crave for your coffee or tea. Will help you distract and unwind. If you really care for a cup, you may have one or two per week and of course occasionally only!! Caffeine can cause serious damage to the fetus growth and brain which I am sure is a good deterrent!

Would love to hear from anyone else who would like to add to this list from their own experience!

Fiery First Trimester...

To all would-be-mothers and pregnant ladies out there, first of all my hearty congratulations to you!! Welcome to the mommy state of being :D Here are a few of my personal experiences as I recall from my first trimester.

Once I had my pregnancy confirmed I consulted my gynecologist and tested my routine check ups of blood and urine, started my prenatal folic acid.

I was already about 6 weeks into my pregnancy by this time.
A couple of weeks later I developed strong nausea.. Initially it was only nausea and a lot of gassy feeling. But as time went by I started my share of throwing up. Phew!! I puked my guts out literally. The pregnancy hormones causing havoc with my cravings added to my already pukish tummy.

I also felt extremely sleepy all the time. I could easily doze off anywhere anytime!! The drill our bodies go through in preparation for a home to it babies is just worth a bow. No wonder we are exhausted!!
And how can I not mention the need to pee!! I sometimes wonder if my bladder was ever empty!??! And I also developed an aversion to water. One sip of water could make me throw up my intestines.

Let's not even get started on constipation during the first trimester...sigh!! 

And very importantly try to be as careful as possible. Avoid jerky rides or anything adventurous.

I strongly believe better safe than sorry!

(PS: There is a follow-up post on how to handle all the above problems!)

Now for the good part, get ready to be pampered from everyone - .your partner, family, friends(if you have broken the news yet) People will be eager to help you out or cater to your cravings :D

Most important of all, you will go through your first scan!! Yaaay!! The first time i heard the heart beat of my sonny, I was in tears. Believe me there is no experience like it. It feels ethereal. A very humbling experience!! Something you should definitely look forward to.

And this is the time to INDULGE!! Just don't worry too much about your weight gain et al. Just eat anything as long as you can stomach it.

There's an entire lifetime to lose weight but your pregnancy is a once in a lifetime experience. Feel blessed that despite all this discomfiture you are one of the lucky few in this world to be pregnant. In today's time and age where infertility is as common as cold, we should all feel humbled to be gifted with a baby. I personally believe having an off-spring is something innate to all living beings. We prepare ourselves from birth for this stage in our lives when we can think beyond ourselves and our happiness for a little one. Somehow miraculously our outlook towards everything changes in an instant and we subconsciously protect our little one even before it arrives. Truly a divine experience.

My first step..

This blog is a collection of my experiences in pregnancy and motherhood which have been life changing in many ways. I hope any new mom reading this will be able to relate to my joys and learn from my experiences. So here goes the story of my baby boy who is now 4 months old from conception to his growth in my womb to his growth outside it. Through this journey I grew a big leap too!!
One early morning last year at 5am, I found myself holding the pregnancy test stick in my hand groggy in sleep walk up to my husband and declare the news... We both stared at each other for a few moments in silence sinking in the news.. In those moments a new bond was forged forever between all three of us...

Being a mother taught me more lessons than anything else in life.. It humbles you and teaches you that there are little joys in life that we often forget about.. We as adults need a baby around us to keep reminding us to smile often... Take life a wee bit easier.. And just be.. without having to worry about the future.. Forgetting the past.. Just smile and enjoy the present..

From the first kick to feeling your bump to watching your baby's first smile... His first words.. First tears.. and those first baby steps... The list is endless of the many firsts you will witness and experience. The journey is so much more enjoyable with a loving partner who is as excited as you are.. And is there are each step of this precious phase.. So here I am taking my first few steps into motherhood..